Laura Kampman
On capturing the present.
There’s a red thread between me and my portraits which is ‘observing’. I observe everything, in a continuum, and then there is me. There’s a part in me that takes this into account as guidance; that part becomes the photographer who tells me how to work with the observations that I follow. That guidance allows an honesty that shows up when I’m taking self-portraits.
In all of my work intuition plays a prominent part. With self-portraits, I can be present and allow myself to deconstruct or re-create without boundaries or obligations to identify within them. My self-portraits embody my relationship with myself, similar to a diary from which I reason with and hope to express the need to be vulnerable.
My photography dates back to me being thirteen and starting to take self-portraits in my bedroom. At that age, I used the camera to be able to observe myself creatively and playfully. I kept at it ever since. I later realized the idea of photography as being something bigger. Through my work as a model, I got to know many people in the fashion industry. Some would notice my photography and suggest doing something together.
I would describe my aesthetic as a totality of a moment. During stress and a sort of entanglement of tasks with being and with actualizing, that is when I surrender and find shelter in taking a picture of that totality as it is. Take the mirrors in open landscapes, for example, in the sun and cloudy atmospheres where differences of light and temperatures explain this totality and mystique. These principles can represent a type of metaphysics that can transmute as the creative process goes into something intelligible.
“My self-portraits embody my relationship with myself, similar to a diary from which I reason with and hope to express the need to be vulnerable.”
If we are speaking about how my gaze feels within my work, then there is a kind of melancholy, curiosity and softness, being placed by giving it space by focusing on individuation. One example where this is shown is when it gets to the moment, capturing somebody from very close, but leaving them untouched.
Some ideas appear when I shower or drive, or when I do a mindless task. Puzzle pieces fall into place in my head, and I can then see images, a location, clothing, whatever it is, and it serves the specific feeling that I want to express. But once I start photographing, it works best for me not to think anymore.
Laura Kampman is a photographer based in the Netherlands. Follow her @laurakampman
